Fatherhood, Disability, and the Power of Mutual Support
What I’m Learning About Love, Limits, and Legacy
By Sam Miller, Author | Speaker | Coach | Founder of Dreaming Made Simple
Becoming a Father Changes Everything
When you’re single, life comes with one set of responsibilities. Add a relationship, and the layers grow. Add children? That’s a whole new level.
I first wrote about the emotions tied to these life phases in my book, I'MPOSSIBLE: Life Lessons on Thriving with a Disability, when I was three years into marriage with no kids.
Now, I’m a father to a beautiful daughter. She has transformed my understanding of purpose, love, and vulnerability.
I love her so deeply, I feel like my heart could burst.
And like most parents, I want the absolute best for her—not just in terms of safety or success, but freedom. I want her to feel fully alive and inspired to pursue whatever lights her soul on fire.
But that desire brings up a familiar set of questions.
Am I Enough?
As a parent with a disability, I wonder:
Will my physical limitations hold her back?
Will she truly understand how deeply I love her and how I would do anything for her that I could?
Will she miss out on something because I can’t always do everything?
I wrestle with those thoughts regularly. But then I wonder—do all parents feel this way in their own way?
Do “typical” parents question whether their insecurities or perceived flaws will affect their children?
Something tells me yes. And that thought gives me peace.
Because it reminds me: parenting isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present.
What My Disability Has Taught Me About Partnership
Marriage and parenting have shown me something profound: we are meant to live interdependently.
Yes, I have cerebral palsy. That means I sometimes need help carrying heavy items, getting the car unstuck from snow, or chopping vegetables.
And yes, I still hear the critical voice that says:
“You should be more independent.”
“You shouldn’t need so much help.”
“You’re a burden.”
But those thoughts fade when I remember something my wife said early in our relationship that changed everything.
“I’m determined to see more than your disability.”
That was the night I knew she was special. She wasn’t ignoring my disability. She was choosing to love all of me.
Now, years later, I realize that the way we show up for each other matters far more than how independent we appear.
What Real Partnership Looks Like
She mo the furniture—I do the laundry.
She drives the heavy errands—I clean the kitchen.
We don’t keep score. We collaborate.
That’s what mutual care looks like. That’s how we thrive.
And when I reflect on this, I see how it applies to so much more than marriage. It applies to community, to parenting, to leadership.
What I Hope My Daughter Learns
If I could pass one message to my daughter, it would be this:
You are not limited by someone else’s perception of your ability.
I want her to see that:
Love is not limited by physical strength.
Asking for help is not weakness.
Everyone has unique strengths and needs—what matters is how we support one another.
I want her to know that her dad showed up—not perfectly, but wholeheartedly.
Fatherhood Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All
Our culture often defines “good dads” in narrow terms: the protector, the provider, the coach, the fixer.
But there are so many ways to show up.
Some dads teach their kids to change a tire.
Others teach their kids to change their mindset.
Some lead with strength of hand.
Others lead with strength of heart.
And all of it matters.
Parenting through the lens of disability has made me more intentional. It’s made me more attuned to the emotional needs of others. It’s given me a deep understanding of what it means to give your all—even when your "all" looks different.
Reflections for You
If you’re navigating life with your own limitations—visible or invisible—here are a few reflection questions:
Where in your life have you felt “not enough”?
Has a challenge ever made you feel defeated? Or did it refine you?
Who has helped you see your worth when you couldn’t see it yourself?
When was the last time you rose to the occasion in a tough situation? What does that say about your growth?
A New Definition of Strength
The more I grow as a husband and father, the more I realize that strength is not about doing everything.
It’s about doing what matters most with intention, consistency, and love.
This Father’s Day, I’m not worried about what I can’t do.
I’m focused on what I can do.
And who I am becoming because of it.
To every dad, caregiver, or support figure showing up day after day: you matter.
Your effort counts. Your presence counts. Your love counts.
Inspired by My Journey
This blog was adapted from a chapter in my book:
📘 I'MPOSSIBLE: Life Lessons on Thriving with a Disability
If this message resonates, I invite you to explore more of my story—and consider sharing it with someone navigating a similar path.
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