Redefining Goals for Neurodiverse Voices: A SMART + Affirming Approach
By Sam Miller, Dreaming Made Simple
When I talk with neurodiverse individuals, families, and programs, the word “goals” often triggers tension.
Goals sound rigid. Goals feel like pressure. Goals get broken.
But what if goals became a compass—one that adapts to you, rather than forcing you to adapt to it?
That’s the heart of the approach I use in my coaching and trainings: combining the clarity of SMART goals with a neurodiversity‑affirming framework that respects each person’s unique path.
Why “Goal-Setting” Often Fails for Neurodiverse People
Many neurodivergent individuals have experienced environments where goals felt like punishment instead of purpose. They've been told to “try harder” without being taught how to work differently.
Common roadblocks:
Goals imposed by others, not chosen by the individual
One-size-fits-all timelines that ignore variability in energy or processing speed
Metrics that don’t make room for rest, redirection, or reality
💬 “We must shift from goals as external demands to goals as co-constructed bridges.”
The neurodiversity-affirming model emphasizes:
Strengths-based planning
Communication in preferred formats
Environmental adaptations
Co-created, self-owned goals
Rethinking SMART for Real-Life Success
You’ve probably seen this acronym before:
Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Relevant
Time-bound
But SMART goals—while helpful—can fall flat when applied without flexibility.
🔁 Reframing SMART for Neurodivergent Brains:
What It Can Look Like:
Specific: Break into micro-steps, clarify sensory or emotional needs
Measurable: Use qualitative signals or visual progress tools
AchievableStay in the “growth zone,” not the comfort or panic zone
Relevant: Align with personal goals, not societal expectations
Time-Bound: Use flexible timelines and soft checkpoints
My Coaching Method: Step by Step
Here’s how I guide goal-setting with individuals and groups in day programs, coaching sessions, and workshops:
1. Explore Strengths & Interests
We ask:
What excites you?
What types of tasks feel energizing, not exhausting?
What past accomplishments made you feel proud?
This sets the foundation. If a goal isn’t connected to something meaningful, it probably won’t stick.
2. Break the Narrative
I often share this personal truth:
💬 “People said I wouldn’t walk, write, or work in a ‘normal’ job. But here I am—an author, a coach, and a speaker. Your goals are possible too.”
3. Draft the Goal Together
We build the goal using the adapted SMART lens.
Prompts we use:
What’s one thing you want to happen in the next 1–3 months?
How will we know if it’s working?
What might get in the way—and how will we handle it?
4. Take the First Micro-Step
Small steps matter. A first step might be:
Sending one email
Writing down three job interests
Asking for help with a task
We track these with sticker charts, Trello boards, or journal entries—whatever works for the person.
5. Review, Reflect, and Rework
Every 1–2 weeks, we revisit the goal. If it’s not working, we adapt—not scrap.
💬 “Progress is progress. Pivoting isn’t failure—it’s feedback.”
Example Goal Transformations
❌ Before:
“Get a job.”
✅ After:
“By December 15, I’ll apply to 3 roles per week that align with my interests (e.g., animal care, libraries, media). I’ll use a checklist and track interviews in a visual calendar.”
❌ Before:
“Improve social skills.”
✅ After:
“Over the next 4 weeks, I’ll practice 2 self-advocacy phrases and use one in a work or volunteer setting. Then I’ll journal what felt good and what felt awkward.”
Tips for Embedding Goal Culture in Your Program or Home
✅ Use visual tools. Progress charts, sticker trackers, and milestone posters make progress feel tangible.
✅ Normalize check-ins. Weekly 5-minute “huddles” keep momentum going and allow for quick pivots.
✅ Celebrate micro-wins. Don’t wait for the finish line—highlight every step.
✅ Respect variability. Some weeks may feel off. That’s human. That’s okay.
✅ Model your own goals. Sharing your wins and rewrites builds trust and transparency.
Why It All Matters
Goals aren’t just boxes to check. They’re proof that progress is possible.
For someone who’s been told “you can’t,” every step forward is more than a win—it’s a restoration of hope.
💬 “When goals are co-owned and adapted, they empower—not pressure. They heal—not harm.”
Ready to Reimagine Goal-Setting?
I work with organizations, day programs, educators, families, and neurodiverse individuals to help make goals feel safe, strong, and supportive.
🔗 Explore my services at dreamingmadesimple.com
📘 Read my book: I’MPOSSIBLE: Life Lessons on Thriving with a Disability
📩 Reach out: sam@dreamingmadesimple.com
Let’s make goals feel like possibility again.