Owning All Of Who You Are
Do you find yourself saying things like, “Nobody understands me”? Or feeling a bit misunderstood, and unsure what to do with it?
In recent years, experience has taught me that most of the time avoiding or ignoring does more harm than good. The fact is, I have cerebral palsy. A disability that, although minor, affects me in various ways. I wasn’t consciously aware of the psychological effect it had on me until about high school when my coach, Susie, encouraged me to do a monologue by a performer with cerebral palsy. The results were overwhelmingly positive for me and accelerated me on a journey of further self-discovery. It’s a process that will continue for the rest of my life, and one I increasingly embrace.
Looking back, I realize that I hid my thoughts and feelings about this part of who I am because it was something I didn’t like. What’s more, I was told directly or indirectly by the culture that having CP or another disability meant having limitations, i.e. people with disabilities can't do that. I felt if I acknowledged my cerebral palsy, maybe what "they" said was true. Maybe there were things I couldn't do or shouldn't attempt.
Additionally, I feared people thought of me as someone with cerebral palsy, first and foremost. I thought if I talked about it, that association would only increase.
“The truth is, cerebral palsy is part of who I am, but far from my identity.”
Prior to the launch of my Dreaming Made Simple business, I made a decision.
It’s time to stop hiding. It’s time to stop avoiding something that is important to me.
Unlike the past, this go around, I chose to mention cerebral palsy on my “Meet Coach Sam” page. My hope is to find and encourage others facing similar questions and difficulties.
While CP presents various challenges, it’s also helped me hone mental toughness and resourcefulness. How else do you develop a mantra or m.o. of “finding a way” unless you’ve had to find a way over and over and over again? You probably have a similar perspective on how life has shaped your point of view.
Coming to grips with who right now - not just who you aspire to be - is vital to believing in yourself. As I say when I lead personal growth workshops every week, “Be yourself! You’re a goldmine! Focus on your strengths! What makes you who you are and what makes you happy?”
In other words, you have everything you need deposited in you and in the resources around you. So much of life is a matter of awareness and perspective.
Each of us is on a journey to discover what Maya Angelou defined as “success.” "Success, Angelou said, “is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.”
Notice, she didn’t mention the externals that most of us typically associate with success. Instead, the path to fulfillment the poet outlines starts internally before ultimately expressing itself externally. The question then becomes, like with anything else, are you willing to put in the work to get the results? In my book. I’MPOSSIBLE, I share how counseling and coaching changed my life and change yours too.
Sadly, a lot of the time we accept circumstances as “normal” or “the way it will always be.” Suppressing pain is normal for many. If you feel stuck, the help of a coach or counselor can bring breakthrough. That’s why, when I started to sense my life was missing something, I went to counseling. Whoever says there’s something shameful about getting help probably hasn’t experienced freedom on the other side. When I found the help I needed, I experienced freedom I never knew was possible. Freedom that allowed me to be more me than ever!
If you’re ready for more, grab a copy of my 10 Tips for Dreaming Bigger, Believing Bigger and Doing Bigger with Coach Sam here!
*blog post includes excerpts from IMPOSSIBLE: Life Lessons on Thriving with a Disability. Published in April 2022.